Original Heroes

[order99]

Bell (Cornell Peele, Reanimated Investigator)

Origin: Big Bang Android Zombie  Class: Summoner  Level: 3  Alignment: Neutral

STR 12    AC 7/12  HP 12  Attack +1  Move 12

DEX 11    Save 15, +3 vs Magic, Spells, +1 vs Missle, Plot

CON 15(+1)

INT 13     Current Karma: 1   Current XP: 2500 Current Funds: $650

WIS 10

CHA 11

Background: A policeman while he lived, Cornell is still adept at spotting Hidden Things and finding clues, interrogating suspects and cultivating informants/SCMs, +1 where applicable.

Languages and Skills(1D6): A native of New Orleans, Cornell is fluent in both English and Creole French.

Hangups: Harassed Minority (a man of color in the 1930's) The Beasts Know (dead meat shouldn't walk and talk, Reaction Roll penalty from animals) Just Resting, Honest! (no pulse or life signs if examined)

Origin Abilities: Dead Man Walking (AC 7/12 with Helmet Bonus, does not breathe, 90% resistance to gas, poison and disease. Cannot heal naturally at all-but several hours of meditation, marking cold flesh with sacred Veve in ink and salt, and the dead flesh reseals itself (1 HP per hour). Can Detect Undead by sight on a 4+ on 1D6, exposing Fake Undead at a glance and knowing if that corpse is 'playing dead' or really is dead. Bonus Power-Keeps Getting Up, can heal 1D6+3 damage once per day, Ability renews at Midnight. Weaknesses-Unholy, the spirits animating Peele are too deeply embedded in his flesh to be exorcised, but a successful Turn Undead will leave him utterly disoriented-in addition, a successful Protection From Evil/Good will keep him at bay (save vs Magic to resist either) and First Aid Kits have no effect on him. All Skills that Peele does not posses are Hard Skills for him as Death has taken its toll on his mind.

Class Abilities: Summon the Dead-without his Focus Peele cannot currently use these Abilities at all. With his Focus within 30 feet of him Peele may Summon up to 5HD of Undead Mobsters per day/night...they appear out of a sudden mist, and remain for up to one Exploration Turn or a full combat, then dissolve back into mist. In addition, Peele has an Affinity for the Undead, and he can communicate with them and attempt to recruit them as temporary SCMs-even the mindless ones, Alignment differences may apply. Special Power-Peele may spend 1HD of his Summoning Ability in order to Spook Bad Guys instead, effect and duration as per the Superhero Power. His powers are renewed at Midnight. His Focus (an ebony amulet carved with the Seal of Baron Guede) may be stolen or Wrecked (as Machine) but he can carve another one in 1D3+1 days. Limited to Simple Weaponry and no Armor.

Equipment

 Several ordinary workday suits, trusty fedora and several pair of sturdy Oxford leather shoes.

 Several notebooks and quality pens

 A tape recorder

 A study,weighted Oak cane (1D6-1 damage)

 A small case of blessed inks and salts, essential to his repair, as well as needle and thread for the, er, tricky bits

 A rented office at 5151 Encado Boulevard, Light City

 Several slabs of quality Ebony timber salvaged from a coffin, and a set of quality woodcarving chisels

 Description: Cornell Peele is a man appearing in his early forties, medium height and sturdy build, with intense, pitiless brown eyes, cafe au lait skin, creole features and curly black hair cropped close to the skull. His effortless gait covers ground very quickly, and his aftershave is redolent with sandalwood. He is an attentive listener-indeed, when he is interested in what you have to say he seems to forget to breathe. His replies are in a not unpleasant baritone, lightly accented with New Orleans patois. In time you will uncover his deeply sardonic and morbid sense of humor-if he lets you see that much of him then he has begun to trust you.

 Issue Zero:   Dear Gale,

   I hope that this missive finds you well and more content than when you left us. The temptation to address you as 'Dear Abby' is still nigh irresistible to me-but I know that you hate it, and quite frankly the cheap joke isn't worth it if it upsets a friend.

  I hope that you still consider us friends despite the distance. I understand your unwillingness to return to us, and I respect your logic-the Cult of Azerath, if it still exists in a form powerful enough to track us, will be looking for a trio.

  Also, though you do not say it-you are terrified of me. You fear that the backlash you were mostly protected from destroyed Cornell Peele-and that a demon took his place and wears his skin. I was a detective once, remember-and I can still read faces...the powers that I now wield would support that theory, certainment. And whatever keeps me above ground and walking-it is not a living man's soul. Indeed, I think that there are many loa in me now, powerful ones...

 But I do not worship devils or feast on flesh or drink blood or perform Black Masses...whatever spirits are with me now, I am still Cornell Peele, cherie, my memories are still mine, my feelings are still mine-and I would like to see you again. Paige is still traveling with me, and she misses you something terrible...will you put your fears aside and visit us again, for her sake?

 There are other reasons to meet as well. The rumors of the Azerath cult have pulled us to Light City New Hampshire, and I think that the remnants of this blight upon decency may have found a new leader. And while I understand your reticence to make our group an easy target-I also believe that we are far stronger together. The Bell, the Book and the Candle survived the Cult together, escaped together-and if forced to fight them again...then we should be together and whole.

  I understand that you have made valuable Occult contacts of your own in Lakefront City-well and good. If they are inclined to assist, and you trust them, then they are welcome. Regardless, I have a Name for them, one that they might know-or not.

  TRIGON.  That is the appellation of the creature this Azerath cult wishes to call and control. We must root them out, all of them, before this happens. And we will be more likely to succeed if we are whole.

  Regards,

Cornell Peele (and Paige Byrne).

  Editor's Notes: Hmm....Android variant with a M-U variant? Not very By the Book I suppose-but...Rule of Cool?

 The Summoner is an untested Home Brew M-U subclass of my own design, listed here:

 hideoutsnhoodlums.proboards.com/thread/193/alternate-classes

 

[order99]

Candle (Paige Byrne, Dancing Through Life)

Origin: Half-Human  Class: Mystic Hero  Level: 2   Alignment: Neutral

STR 11                    AC 6/13, 4/15 with Aura  HP 13  Attack +1 (+1 Missles) Move 12 or 36ft leap

DEX 12/25 (+1/+3)  Save 16, +2 vs Missles, Magic, Poison, +1 vs Science

CON 11

INT 10                     Current Karma: 0  Current XP: 2500  Current Funds: $425

WIS 13

CHA 15 (+1)

 Background:  A former Minnesota Showgirl, Paige knows nearly every style of dance there is, can arrange and choreograph routines, read music and belt out a pretty decent tune, +1 where applicable.

 Languages and Skills (1D6): Paige speaks and writes flawless English, and can do deadpan impersonations of any voice from low baritone to high soprano, +1 where applicable to fool native speakers or impress talent scouts.

 Hangups: Blatant Abilities (all her Origin and Class Abilities must be accessed through her Blazing Aura) Annoyingly Cheerful (makes Rebecca of Sunnybrook farm look like Solomon Kane) Past Her Bedtime (sleeps far less than she should, doesn't want to miss anything).

 Origin Abilities: Blazing Aura/My Spotlight-Paige can, at will, surround herself with bright, flickering cold flame that obscures her features and  makes her hard to target properly, natural AC 7/12 with Helmet Bonus and makes her very conspicuous. Light On My Feet-when supported by her Aura, Paige can easily leap up to 36 feet and ignore falls of same.

 Class Abilities: Truly Nimble-her reflexes make striking cobras look slow, add WIS to DEX.  A River Broad but Shallow-Paige can access both Spells and Superhero Powers, but must 'learn' them in order to access them. Spells/Powers available so far are Cure Light Wounds, Light, Magic Missle, Protection From Evil, Race the Train, Multi-attack, Leap I, Wreck at Range, Pass Without Trace, Levitate. She can use up to two of these Powers/Spells per day, recovering them as a standard Superhero. Wrecking Things-at range of Touch, up to 5 times/day.  Mystic Being-all of Paige's Superpowers/Spells count as Spells for purposes of Detection/Dispelling ( Save vs Magic to resist as needed) but need no gestures or words to activate. Paige can use any weaponry and wear up to Costume Armor (but seldom does). Effectively one Level lower out of 'costume' (but since her Blazing Aura is her Costume this only affects Paige when she's trying to "Pass as Normal").

 Equipment

  Over a dozen outfits  and accessories for every occasion, made to mix-n-match

  Several pair of shoes ranging from sturdy walking boots to stiletto heels to ballet slippers and tap shoes

  A tiny room at Mama Fischer's Boarding House at 3721 Encado Boulevard, Light City

  A 1932 Schwinn ladies' bicycle, a performance bonus from the crew of radio KLYT, 'The Lighthouse' for her voice acting in "The Hounds of Doom" ten-part series

  Two First Aid Kits

  Thermos of strong, black coffee for those long nights

  The latest issue of Variety

  Description: Paige Byrne  is slightly below average height but sturdily built, with hazel eyes, curly auburn hair in a 'Clara Bow' close trim,  rosy cheeks and an infectious grin. She strides boldly through sun, rain or gloom as if she were in a musical production. Paige faces the grimmest of situations as if they were trifles-and why shouldn't she? What could her days hold that would be worse than being stripped and painted, chained to a blood-stained table and hearing the chanting chanting chanting while some wrinkled hag readied the sharp sharp knife across her neck-you know what, never mind...hey did you see The Jazz Singer yet? Al Jolson just knocks it outta the park, I tell you....

  When Paige chooses to let Candle 'out', she is a blurred shadow surrounded by flickering 'cold flame' that can she can use to freeze the hardest steels into brittle paper. She darts and bounces and dances when  in action-you may as well try to hit a mosquito with a fire hose.

 Issue Zero: Gale? Gale? GALE!  OH MY GOD COME HERE WE MISSED YOU SO MUCH okay, sorry, Inside Voice Paige, sorry but COME HERE YOU-hahhaha, nope, not letting go, we're Siamese Twins now, gotta get all of our dresses specially tailored...sit. This place has a dozen good coffees oh but you're still mainly a tea drinker, right? Well Sam's got a pretty good variety of HEY SAM, OVER HERE, two thirsty ladies waiting, oh this is my very best friend ever Gale Reid, Gale this is Sam Vonderman, best maker of teas since-well, you-i'll bet the two of you start talking Shop and i'll doze right off, ZZZZzzzzzzzz....I kid, I kid.

  How. Have. You. Been?  No phone calls, no letters, it's like you just left the planet-and it was so, so empty without you. I know that you've got some...reservations about Cornell, but honestly Gale we....we all changed after the escape. Yeah, me too. I found out after you left us-and hey, don't do that again, okay?  If the Cult of Ass-Wrath wants to find us they probably have a crystal ball or something, so why keep running when we should band together and make them run instead?

 God I love this time of day out here, the street lamps are still gas and the lovely glow when they burn...

 No, i'm fine. Why wouldn't I be...oh. right. I'd almost forgotten how terrified I used to be at night. The slightest hint of a shadow or a dark closet or even under the bed and-Jimminy Crickets it's a miracle you didn't leave me sooner, no Hon that was a joke, seriously. But i'm not afraid of the dark anymore Gale, I fear no darkness nor anything crawling in it. I tear the Dark to pieces-

 What?  Come one, those Ice Wraith cultists wanted us to play Magic Batteries right? Bell, Book and Candle...well they got what they wished for, Monkey's Paw and all! Wait until the crowds thin out, and i'll show you.

 Until then though, you're coming with me to the Radio station, i'll introduce you to Steve, Connor, Becky, Jim-yeah, Cornell wants 'low profile', but I can still do the Voices, remember those? I'm Shannon Lamb on the credits, only my co-workers know my real name and it's good honest coin for a few hours a day freelancing-oh, except on Thursday nights, i'm on a regular series, they let me do half the bit parts and the Monster voices too!

 Uh, no. Not that one. Not...That one. I tried it once and the Producer almost passed out. Too scary for Radioland I guess-okay, hold tight, nobody watching....Express Elevator to the roof! HAHAHAHAhahahaaaaaaa.......

 Editor's Notes: The Mystic Hero is a (barely) tested home brew Class I developed for my 1886 Game. It seems to have worked well so far, but needs more play-testing. Oh, let the stars be right again someday.......

 hideoutsnhoodlums.proboards.com/thread/193/alternate-classes?page=2

[order99]

Liz (Elizabeth Vasquez, local cabbie)

 Origin: Half-Human Normal Gal  Class: Mysterywoman Working Jane  Level: 2  Alignment: Neutral

STR 11     AC 6/13   HP 10  Attack +0 Move 12

DEX 12     Save 15 (+3 vs Poison, Missles, +1 Science, Plot)

CON 12

INT 11      Current Karma:2 Current XP:2500 Current Funds: $520

WIS 10

CHA 15 (+1)

    Background: Liz has inherited her Mother's talent of digestion-she can gain nourishment from foods no normal person can digest, mostly as a result of her Origin Abilities listed below. Strand her on a sandbar in the middle of the sea for a month and she'll be both completely healthy and bored to tears with the taste of sand.

  Languages and Skills (2D6 K1): Liz is perfectly fluent in both spoken and written English and her Father's Ecuadoran Spanish.

  Hangups: This soup needs more rust (unnatural tastes that she tries-and fails-to hide)  My Love Life is so Weird (her last two boyfriends were a werewolf and an Android from Hollywood).

 Origin Abilities: Liz is 100% resistant to Poison, Gas and Disease, but still needs to eat, sleep and breathe (modified Big Bang Android Ability). Her teeth count as a 1D6 weapon-she can only use them after a successful Grappling attack or defense-but gets a Bonus Die to all Wrecking Rolls when using them (modified Trophy Case Half-man Ability).

  Class Abilities: May use any weapon that a Fighter can (all) but limited to Bulletproof Vest or less for armor. Adds Missle Save Bonus directly to AC. When properly rested and calorie-laden, has heightened Skill Use and access to 3 Stunts per day. Special Attack-CHOMP! If engaged in Grappling Combat she can bring her Armor Piercing bite into play, +2 to Strike.

 Equipment

 Several changes of Working Woman's clothing and a red newsboy cap

 A rented garage with a small one-room apartment above, small but cozy at 1570 Sage Road

 Her Baby, a 1907 Model T cab, rebuilt and modified for durability and economy (+5 HP, 10% better gas mileage). Works on it herself unless major repairs are in order. Always has her toolkit and a First Aid Kit in the trunk.

 A Sunbeam Cannon that she stole from Doctor Bright after he tried to rob her-range 250 ft, Damage 1D6+1. On a Damage Roll of '2' the gun is out of power or overloaded and needs a quick repair-and she's repaired it a few times

 An open invitation to dine, sleep or do laundry at her Father's three-room house at 1219 Cricket(and be spoiled by her Grandmother)

 A locket containing a photo of her deceased Mother.

 A small bag of ball bearings to suck, jawbreaker style

  Description: Liz Vasquez is true sun-kissed beauty, with a tan that never fades, neck-length blonde hair usually in a ponytail while working. and impossibly white teeth. Her fingers are callused with short nails, and she moves in an easy, ambling gait.

  Her bright yellow taxi can be found anywhere in Lakefront City, ready to offer services. Be warned though-any phrases such as "Follow That Car!" "Lose 'em!" "Faster! Faster!" from her fares and she will double the fee immediately. And if she ends up driving off a perfectly good bridge to land on a garbage scow again...you better be rich, Honey.

 Issue Zero: No Officer, i'm not an accomplice. I'm a cabbie, I carry people to and from Banks all the time...

  Well for one thing, i'm the gal who called you. And for another, I disarmed the idiot and locked him out of the cab.

 

  Um, no, you won't find the barrel-and yes, those are bite marks...look, the idiot leaped into the back seat and put that stupid little gat right in my face, I just reacted. And I haven't had lunch yet.

 It's not that strange-haven't you noticed how weird the World has gotten? Cleveland has this weirdo acrobat who leaps tall buildings and destroys Slums with his bare hands, Gotham had freakin' Dracula show up and start terrorizing people-heck, one of my regulars saw aliens invade Grover's Mill, had to move for good after that...

  Yeah, I get the jaws from Mama-she used to say there was a valley in Bosnia where nothing grew, and poison where it would-so eventually you had these people who could eat just about anything...Papa found her in an Ecuadoran jungle, munching on tree bark, poison frogs, rocks-couldn't speak a word of Spanish at first. Papa took her in, taught her  Spanish and English-he works for a coffee importer, came to the States later on when they promoted him-and well, Papa's a handsome man, Mama wasn't stupid, and here I am 24 years later...

 I wish that you could speak to her too Officer Jones-but she passed on 4 years ago,traffic accident...Papa nearly died too, just from the grief. It's just me and Papa and my Abuella now.

  Dinner? I could go for a bite...um, wait. There's no way to ask this without sounding stupid...you're not a robot are you? Good-my last date was an honest-to-goodness robot somebody built in a Hollywood studio...and before that? A nice Hungarian guy, right up until a Full Moon rose and he bit me-yer darn tootin' I bit him back...pretty awkward to be honest-

 Er, no I don't smoke. Are you allergic to tobacco? Seriously, the fire? Good thing you're a cop and not a firefighter then John Jones...

 Editor's Note: No, Liz's Mother isn't from Bosnia-I already had a Durlan refugee, why not a throw a time-displaced Bismollian into the mix? I used Mysteryman as a template to emulate a supercharged, almost Redlined metabolism and oddly enough I wound up with a Golden Age Calorie Queen BTB, barely had to force the fit at all...

[Adminenkainen]

Matter Eater Cabbie?

[order99]

Yup! She'd be an SCM in somebody else's comic no doubt-but I wanted to see if I could make her mostly BTB. And heck, DC gave Space Cabbie a series in the 1970's...

Mostly Liz is 'Yeah, I got Powers. The World is weird, my dating life is weird...so I should dress up in silk and sock muggers in the jaw? Naaaahhh, girl's gotta make a living...'. The Mysteryman Class gives her massive versatility and lets her Bite attack actually matter, Stunts let her get Baby running again with baling wire and pull off the occasional Amazing Driving feats etc...

 Oh, and her dating life is about to get even weirder if the Martian Manhunter has anything to say about it...

[order99]

  Comprachico The Clown ( Mateo Collodi, He Who Laughs)

Origin: Android Clown  Class: Mysteryman  Level: 3  Alignment: Chaotic

STR 12     AC 4/15  HP 14   Attack +1   Move 12

DEX 13     Save 15 (+3 Poison, Missles, +1 Science, Plot)

CON 11

INT 12

WIS 9           Current Karma: 3   Current XP: 3100   Current Funds: $825

CHA 15(+1)

 Background: Comprachico is a former star of the stage, and knows all about playing a role, memorizing large amounts of information quickly and quick but effective disguises and voices, +1 where applicable. On an Expert Skill check, his role is perfect-no Saves vs Plot can penetrate the disguise unless fickle Fate intervenes.

 Languages and Skills (2D6K1): Comprachico is fluent in both his native Italian and his adopted German. He is currently studying English but has not yet mastered it.

 Hangups:  Scary Monster Clown,really stands out in a crowd (that isn't makeup!) Full of Scary Clown Magic (his wounds don't bleed, they smoke) Popular at Parties (The Fascists want him so bad, reward on delivery and no questions asked)

 Origin Abilities: Clowns Don't Cry (AC 7/12 with Helmet Bonus, 45% resistance to disease, gas, poison). I Can Smell Your Lies (his keen senses can detect falsehoods on a 3+ on 1D6 if he concentrates and does nothing else that Turn). Let's Pretend (Internal power of Change Self, 1D6 hours per day). Madder than a Hatter (Android Skill penalty on any Skill not listed). Too Far Into the Role (when Comprachico  disguises himself, his Persona is useless in a fight and can't do anything except Move and Detect Falsehoods...it takes 1D6 Turns to 'wake up' after removing the disguise).  Clowns Never Sleep (Comprachico never sleeps nor dreams, and this takes a terrible toll on his body, slowing his healing to a crawl. Yet when disguised-and relatively helpless-then Comprachico can't hear the Voices any more, and heals at an accelerated rate).

 Class Abilities: May use any weapon a Fighter can (but Save vs Plot to shoot guns) and wear up to a Bulletproof Vest (useless in his case).  May add Missle Save Bonus directly to AC. Heightened Skill use and up to 4 Stunts per day. Special Attack-The Mirror Gag, Comprachico can study one opponent and learn how to counter them(must have Surprise or delay Initiative that round, then +3 Bonus to Strike that opponent). Works on only one foe at a time.

Equipment

 Disguise Kit

 Another Disguise Kit, broken down into small flat envelopes and concealed in clothing

 First Aid Kit for those fragile Humans

 Magic Purple Crowbar (1D6 melee damage, +1 to Wreck) concealed down modified trouser leg

 4 Throwing Knives (range of 30 ft, 1D6-1 damage ranged or melee)

 Rainbow Parasol for those sunny Berlin days (Tear Gas Gun, 1 charge)

 Sleeve holster full of compressed air and confetti (normal chance for a Surprise round, 1 charge)

 At least two tasteful grey suits and a snappy fedora

 Marked deck of playing cards-the two Jokers in the deck look just like Comprachico's Wanted Poster

 A scuffed but serviceable 1932 Zundapp Scooter full of hidden compartments, AKA his Mobile Base

 Description: Comprachico the Clown is on Wanted posters throughout Berlin thanks to Die Geisterfledermaus and his Spatzen-it is said that the Ghost Bat has a life-sized version at his office...the image shows a lean, bloodless corpse of a man, face frozen in a horrid unnatural grin and dark predator's eyes, dark grey lips, lank grey hair, dressed in colorless greys and a dark coat-a clown in chiaroscuro. The only color is on his breast-in a mockery of the yellow cross that Director Speer has ordered all German Catholics to wear, this terrorist sports a gleaming golden crucifix atop a scarlet, flaming Sacred Heart.

 Impossible to believe that the Kapitaliste haven't caught the deviant yet...wait, why does that street sweeper look just like Charlie Chaplin? He even walks like Mein Gott he just pulled off his face!  Helfen, Polizei!!!

  Issue Zero: ( Berlin, Counter-Earth, 1936)

  Hello, Anne my dear...yes just your old pal Comprachico, I brought us some coffee and a hot meal. No, no don't worry about the blood, it's mostly mine hahahahaHAHAHAHAHEEHEEEHehhehehehee.....heh, sorry, private joke. No need for those towels, it all evaporates-see? Just part of my special, magical nature, oh yes.

  Haven't slept have you Anne? I told you to get some rest-well, just because I can't sleep doesn't mean you shouldn't, our boat down the Rhine to Belgium won't be for another two days, and you need your strength...a Bedtime Story? At your age? Ah, why not?  So, pick a topic and this humble clown will...

 Oh, about me? I'm just an entertainer Anne, nothing too special-now Papa? He was special...studied under Enrico Caruso himself for seven years, took Mama and little Mateo all over the world, his Pagliacci was performed in front of the Crowned Heads of Europe, the White House in the United States, even the Vatican once..hm? Oh yes, I speak of Angelo Collodi-thought you might have heard the name. You're too young to have seen him though.

 Ah no, can't sing a note-no talent then and certainly no talent now-I pursued a slightly more, um, pedestrian career on the stage. My parents were proud enough I suppose-Mateo's parents I should say. Sadly, Mateo never got to see his Papa on the stage-he was too busy backstage, making sure that there were no Clown Skinners nearby-

 Sorry, what? You never heard of the Clown Skinners? Most haven't. Mama used to pretend that it was Papa's morbid sense of humor at play, and that he was just trying to keep Mateo out of trouble...but as Mateo grew older, he began to think that Papa was trying to warn him, using a code of sorts that he wouldn't forget...

 No Anne, i'm not Mateo. That poor boy died years ago, in fact he never really existed at all-it's...complicated. I'll get to that later, promise.  You see, that code of Papa's-the warning about the Clown Skinners...clowns are dangerous, Anne. They talk about things that are normally taboo, paint their faces like dead people, mock the influential and powerful, drag secret vices and gossip out of respectable establishments and make them into public performances. Clowns do what society is afraid to do for themselves, rattle the skeletons and stir the mud-and we're allowed to get away with it. Most of the time. You understand that Society needs clowns, right?  A healthy community needs its truth-tellers, its tricksters, lore-keepers and entertainers...the first symptom of an ailing society is when they start murdering their clowns, Anne...

 The last performance of Pagliacci was at Berne in 1932...Si, that one.  Udo Hynkel in attendance, Der Vader himself...and the Collodis never came back to Lake Garda. 'Executed for Espionage' was the excuse-but Mateo knew better. Clown Skinners. He stopped performing, stayed home, stopped eating...Dios Mia, the darkness like a blanket, trapped in his own skin, useless, helpless-I remember it all. You know what it's like Anne, I can see you understand. I think that Mateo would have starved clean away if he hadn't received that chest from Great-uncle Carlo-

 Oh yes Anne, that Carlo Collodi. Wrote Pinocchio. Did you know, Anne, that Uncle Carlo knew Cagliosto? The alchemist?  That, that children's book is full to the brim of alchemical metaphor and hidden codes, if you know where to look and have the right references at hand-and there was a diary in the chest as well. And an...invoice for services.

 Mateo Collodi was never real. Angelo Collodi's great secret-that soaring Tenor edging into Soprano? He was one of the last of the castrati, just after the Church outlawed the practice for good-and he could never sire a child of his own. I don't know why he didn't just adopt, did he fear the truth would come out, it always does in the end...Mateo wasn't a Real Boy and never had been Anne, and all they could do for the poor humonculus  was make him look like one. So-Mateo took a sharp, sharp blade and...skinned himself a Clown..an act of Aenigma Regis. And guess who lay beneath? ME. A clown just like Papa after all, and if I can't play Pagliacci, then i'll make a perfect Harlequin, Si?

 Still not sleepy? Sorry, i'm terrible at bedtime stories. Well if you're going to stay up i'm going Inside and get these Luger rounds out of me. Oh you can still talk to me, but it won't be me, understand? I know, let's be Mateo for awhile, he's useless in a fight like they all are, but he can keep you company. Then we can keep the promise I made to the Franks to get you all to Brussels-

 Yes Anne, I know they're dead-i'm not delusional. But a promise is a promise-and both of your parents are waiting for you there in a crypt I purchased myself. Oh, and Anne? We should be safe, but the Bat Ghost's Sparrows are everywhere these days-so if anyone tries the door, splash Mateo with this bucket of strong vinegar to start melting him away, press that button, light the sparkler, and start screaming "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" as loud as you can-and do you know how to tap dance?

 Well mostly it's to confuse the daylights out of our intruders and give me time to wake up-you know, it's not going to be funny if I explain it, Capiche?

  Editor's Notes: Per Negaton  has a Batman Expy in his Counter-Earth MUD...and his 'Batman' is a fascist bigot who blames all of Germany's economic woes on 'deviants'. So Per asked me to design an appropriate foil for Die Fledermausgeist- well, if The Bat Ghost is a Fascist, then what better foil than a Clown Prince of (well-meaning) Chaos?

  Sadly, Per Negaton doesn't use H&H to MUD-the server pre-dates H&H and uses its own complex algorithm-but Per groks H&H and can translate pretty well.

  The name " Comprachico" also comes from The Man Who Laughs (1928)...they are the ones who mutilated Gwynplaine, and who routinely do such things to unwanted children so they can sell the results to Freak Shows. Yeah, Mateo is pretty much calling himself "Mutilator the Clown", heheheheheheh....

 Oh, just got an E-mail back from Per Negaton while Posting...the gist of it seems to be " you are one sick BLEEEEP and you should check to see if your Rabies shots are up to date. I think I can use him, but i'll need to use some Mad Libs to get into character,dunno". So...success maybe?